ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
