Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
