All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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