idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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