My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
