I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
