I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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