i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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