There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
