Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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