I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
