We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize