Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
