Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
