His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
3 2 1 whiskey
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
