I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
In America we eat man semen.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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