Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
