Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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