I didn't shave. On purpose
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
