she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
