no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
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