So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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