My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
