you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize