i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
dude. I can hear the air.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize