yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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