He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
