3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
