Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
