just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Found the puke drawer
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
