do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
