Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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