office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
