well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
