so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
