guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
