I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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