I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
