Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
