I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
