So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
