Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
