ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
