Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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