mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
