Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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