I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
