Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
