Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
