I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize