I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
