i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
