wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize