i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
