there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
