So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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