yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
