My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You've changed since you got that strap on
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
