I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
